My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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