I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
