He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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