I cockslap morals
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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