Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What a dumb baby whore.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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