what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
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I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
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Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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