Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am available for nakedness
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
