There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
