Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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