all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
