He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
