i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
