I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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