I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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