what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize