Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
