I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
