I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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