respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's always time for handjobs
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
