thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
