dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
