All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
