Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
