Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
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im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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