I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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