i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize