Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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