I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
