I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
