so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
