my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
