i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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