I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
