I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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