Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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