Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I need a burrito and a hug.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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