if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
