My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
