You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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