There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Pants are for mortals
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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