No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
