My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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