We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i think i just lost a toe
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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