I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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