It's Friday. Sex?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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