Where is the hickey?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Randomize
