tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
love makes seman taste better
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
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I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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