its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
