I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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