we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
