dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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