I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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