This is not my ceiling
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
