your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
