Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
