Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
