what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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