Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
