Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
