I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
