You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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