I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
