At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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